Monday, August 15, 2005

With respect to Pornob Mukherji

No, no. don’t get me wrong. The ‘respect ‘ here is not the respect as in ‘with respectto the dear departed’ but as in ‘with respect to the stinking drain in front of my house’. So in this post I merely refer to pornob da not give him any respect (as if I could even if I tried)

Now what happened was after reading my initial post on Pornob mukherjee, a couple of wise guy friends of mine asked me why was I doling out hints to other people free of cost.

Most of the times I m pretty clueless about what I write n am totally clueless about Why I write it. But this time was different- I actually know. So I couldn’t miss out on the golden chance to reply.

This post is about kickin up more dirt about pornob da. Happily, quite a lot has been kicked up already, but this is one of the less touched issues. N I confess, for writing about it I t ake complete inspiration from the Indian media, which spends more time on reporting ‘scoops’ then covering news n still smanages to stay in business. They must be doin something right!

The gist of the matter is that if pornob did KBC , I could never make it to the hot seat ( not that I could do that now…6 rs/ min call…I don’t have that auks). Anyways , so I couldn’t make it coz pornob does not like girls. Ok, before u get any ideas…let me restate- Pornob does not like girls quizzing or atleast he doesn’t like them on stage wen he ‘ has the mike’

Now the first time I was enlightened about the existence of pornob , I was pretty curious to see this specimen but my enlightener told me that girls generally don’t get to go on stage in his quizzes. Now I was plenty curious about the reason why. But somehow , though everybody seemd to acknowledge this fact to some extent, nobody seemed to have bothered to find out the reason why. But I persisted n finally my hard work bore fruit.

One of the veterans whos known pornob from his old IIT K quizzing days told me it was a case of spurned love with the lady in question havin turned him down pretty badly. So , as do nothing he could about it, he decided to take it out on the entire half of the species in quizzing where he lives in a make belief world where he’s the midget king n whatever he says becomes the rule.

Now , a few months ago, one ofmy friends elaborated on this. According to him, pornob was about to get married to a this girl when he spread about spme rumors which as usual had the 3 pornob charchterstics:
1. it was a pornob ego feeder.
2. it put the other party down.
3. it was a lie.
So, the obvious thing, the girl opted out.
N hence the discrimination.

Well, I don’t exactly blame pornob! I mean that guy was merely looking for symmetry n constancy in his life! He has lied about everythin till now so how could he let this pass? He lies about his birth date, his education, his occupation, his employers, his plays, the questions in his quizzes, the answers to the questions in his quizzes.
Hell! He lies about the answers to the answers to the questions in his quizzes in the next quiz.

That’s the way that man is. N if there was something called ‘utopian existence’ all of us would have realised this.
The quiz organizers would have realisd that he’s a habitual liar and not given him a chance.
The girl would have realised that he’s just a habitual liar n given him a chance.
Life would have been good for all of us.
Not the girl maybe.
But then ..’for the greatest good of the greatest number.’

Unfortunately, this is real life n n outopia, so..
The quiz organizers don’t realise that he’s a habitual liar , so givehim a chance,
The girl doesn’t realise he’s a habitual lawyer, so doesn’t givehim achance.

But the latest is that he’s digging his heels in various girls colleges in delhi.
So maybe finally things r a-changing.
Who knows?
But girls please beware.
He’s NOT 28!


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